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Jouska

Jouska

Jouska

I like cancelled plans and missed trips.

I like the idea that not getting what you want is another stroke of luck.

I like finding something nice while looking for something else.

I like the flipping of the page to start a new chapter.

I like being awestruck in the moment.

I like the paling of the sky promising a new beginning.

I like watching the rain skittering down the window.

And feel the chrysalism I gain out of it.

I like walking on damped sideroads.

I like the astrophe I feel as I walk along.

And the petrichor I smell arousing from the wet grass.

I like bookshops’ vellichor.

And quiet coffee shops’ anemoic atmosphere.

I like this hypothetical conversation that I keep rolling in my mind.

I like being lost in ambedoic trancé as images from a distant past slowly yet, undeniably surface back in my mind.

I like having flight of thoughts.

I like the unsettling awareness of my own heartbeat.

I like to gambol on the staircase.

And to lilt in the kitchen.

I like my unkempt hair with over-worn pajamas.

I like empty boxes and scattered pens.

I like words and writing them.

I like silence.

I like space.

I like simplicity.

I don’t know why but I like not knowing why.

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2017 in Lyrics of Life

 

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Lumos Solem: A Child’s Game

Lumos Solem: A Child’s Game

Lumos Solem: A Child’s Game

I used to raise a hand towards the tiny openings of an old wooden platform, face my palm straight towards the ray of 7:30 AM sunlight, and watch the back of my hand luminously glow in crimsoned red as I feel the warm wave of heat where morning dust particles arouse in the air.

I used to listen to the most silent form of silence and get amazed by the awkward monotonous buzz that I hear drilling through the inner lobe of my ears.

I used to get amazed by my own heartbeat, and would suddenly remember that I just forgot that I was breathing.  Then it amazed me once again.

I used to step out in the patio right after the rain and enjoy the smell of petrichor arousing in the air.

I used to stare at thin air, and question why I cannot see the air.

I used to watch flowers very closely and imagine Thumbelina tucked up among the buds.

I used to look for tiny little mushrooms that grow on damped woods where orchids used to flourish, look for dwarfs, and pretend that I was Snow White.

I used to wonder how worms hide beneath the soil and still can breathe.

I used to believe that if I hide my face behind a wall, the rest of my body would be invisible.

I used to wish to have superpowers as I used to play pretend that I could move objects and start a fire through mental telepathy.

I used to run as fast as I can towards my bed upon switching the lights off in the fear that demons will run after me.

I used to believe that the scariest task a child was ever obliged to do was to go upstairs alone in the night.  Watching the stairs itself used to freak me out.

I used to believe that the scariest part in my room was underneath my bed where nighttime crawlies awaken after midnight.

I used to imagine that my whole family was being killed and that I was next everytime I hear thumps while I was taking a shower.

At times I used to wake up late and that the hallways and stairs were silent, I used to believe that I was already dead and that I was walking in the ghost realm.  Then I would start looking for my own dead body as I try to remember as much as I can on how I possibly died.

I used to own a Jane doll, a big walking porcelain doll, the prettiest among my dolls yet, which face I used to place down flat on a pillow and cover with used clothes before going to bed for her eyes used to freak me out everytime I get awaken in the middle of night.

I used to play with Donald and Mickey, and never realized that one day, they will become leaders in the US.

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2017 in Lyrics of Life

 

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My Emerald in the Sand

My Emerald in the Sand

I took a trip one day,
In a place I least expected;
When there’s just nothing else to say —
As time felt like reverted.

The roads sizzled in Summer,
And, the air just burned my skin;
The days were long, the nights were longer —
As tomorrow was unforeseen.

Then I saw you there sitting alone,
Surprised by this everlasting turmoil;
Your luscious green, your vivid tone —
My emerald, you just simply pleased this Arabian soil.

You might have wondered,
For what brought you here;
For there’s just nothing you’ve discovered —
But the sand, the air, and the sky so clear.

Yet, this arid soil was amazed as you came,
Together with the doves on the dates;
For every day for them was lame and the same —
At least, finding something new compensates.

My sluggish soul was pleased as well,
As I completely stopped and stare;
You are the first I saw in my life, I would tell —
For you are the rarest among all colors fair.

Among all colors, you are seriously rare,
For you turn more vibrant in happiness, anger and excitement;
As the rich color of green that you bear —
Captures attention and unexpected denouement.

Yet you visually play with colors, too,
In a room in the night when the lights are dim;
You play this trick from green to blue —
Like the sky, that’s just how you seem.

But, somewhat lately, I just have to say,
The color I adore, no longer comes my way;
For your luscious green just turned dull gray —
By sadness and irritations that lined up your array.

You don’t deserve this!
Just none of it all,
For no harm you could ever make;
To put out your brightness
As you’re taken control —
Over, that was a big mistake.

You suffered in pain,
You suffered in tears,
This was not what you came for;
The green turned gray,
My precious emerald —
What more are you looking for?

This place may not be for you,
As for you may not be for this place;
For your luscious green in Springtime due —
Are being buried just to disgrace.

This price is high!
It’s not for you,
Yet, they ought to get you in a show;
If be like this, everyday you’ll cry —
Then I would rather let you go.

If I could just somehow share your pain,
I, for sure, have now made my way;
For I missed you, my emerald —
I simply miss you everyday.

Well, I guess, that’s it!
That is all it,
Not everything comes for free;
I shouldn’t wonder,
My emerald in the sand —
One day, I will no longer get to see.

I took a trip one day,
In a place I least expected;
When there’s just nothing else to say
But, “Hi!” —
Then precious emerald turned to me,
And, a beautiful friendship started.

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2017 in Lyrics of Life

 

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