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Tag Archives: attitude

The Worlds Inside People

What appeals pretty for me is almost non-physical.

I distant myself from people. I never go where the crowd goes. Not because I’m shy or insecure about the possibility of being out of place, but because what I long for is usually never found in the crowd.

I don’t like small talk. It usually drains me, making me charge myself back through introversion. I long for a real conversation. A deep one. An intellectual sort of talk. For me, socializing involves just one person and me, a cup of coffee, make that extra large if not refillable, a good ambiance, and long hours of just sitting there around the table.

What appeals pretty for me is almost non-physical. I’m more interested on what lies beneath the surface. I’m more on how a person speaks his mind, and on how he expresses his hidden self out.

I am fascinated by human behaviour. I am fascinated by the massive submerged part of human iceberg. I am fascinated by the strange patterns that differentiate every single person.

Every single person has an untold short story. Every single person has Moons, rivers and unfinished chapters. Every single person has a past that built his present. Every single person has a little nook filled with dreams and regrets.

I want to know what’s on someone’s subconscious. Someone’s makes and breaks; and, the reason why someone’s doing the shit he’s doing. I want to know someone’s overt and covert behaviour. Those that are known and unknown to the self. I want to know where someone’s mind goes when it wanders; and, which part of the world attracts him once I hand over a globe.

Surfacing through humanity wouldn’t take me any further. Yet, diving through someone’s ocean of hidden worlds takes a lot courage. I guess, I’d rather have a share of the latter than just by simply asking, “Hi! How are you?” Then get nothing at all after he replies, “Good!”

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2017 in Lyrics of Life

 

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The Feeling Is Mutual!

WHY DO A LOT of people act like you owe them something?  Why do a lot of people think that you have to walk on tip toe before them like they even deserve it?  Why do a lot of people get insecure when they see how happy you are now and that you’re no longer drowning in your yesterdays?  Why do a lot of people act like you owe them the time they spent in meeting you knowing that it’s you who made the effort of going to where you could meet her in the first place?  It’s not even halfway yet!

SOME WOULD REALLY think and believe that they’re always better than you.  That if they’re not happy, you should not, too.  I have already empathized on you a lot of times.  I even controlled my temper and gave you a benefit of the doubt just to help you feel good for you were undergoing a certain circumstance knowing that at those times, I was drowning in my depression as well.  I healed all within me.  I healed all by myself.  I healed all alone.  As much as possible I never bothered you nor anybody else when I was so down and depressed though I was nearly there and now that I was able to cope up, you’ll just simply throw me this face of shit?  I mean, what kind of friend are you?  Well, I shouldn’t have gone there in the first place so I wouldn’t have to observe and feel your insecurity.  Even just for one fuckin’ hour, you couldn’t even dare to fake!  All you think of is yourself.  All you care for are your feelings.  You only hear what you wanna hear.  At times you’re down, you want others to be on the same boat as you are.  It doesn’t mean that you’re losing, others should, too.  But you know what?  At those times when I was the one who’s down, where were you?  Of course, you’re just right there showing me how tired you were of comforting me.  That it was very contagious to promote a depressive atmosphere.

DON’T EXPECT ME to bend for I’ve already been there for several times now.  I’ve done that already and this time, it’s all over.  If you’re already tired, then that’s fine.  The feeling is just so mutual!

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2013 in The Avenue, The Episodes

 

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Tough! I’m Not Here To Please You!

PEOPLE ARE SO sensitive nowadays.  They always have their own way of throwing a mud right onto your face.  They have this way of showing you that they are in deed hurt though it was their mistake in the first place and though all you just said was four little abrupt words which were carefully said, with all due respect, they will still show you how pissed they are and would never stop showing it the whole day until you noticed them.

I AM A VERY sensitive person, too.  In my condition, I deserve to be yet despite it all, I am still very careful in choosing my words.  More often than not, I mostly prefer not to say anything at all anymore just to avoid arguments for I know I may not be able to handle it and at the same time, it’s not gonna do good for me for I’m in medication right now.  At times I’m hurt, I made it a habit lately of just simply ignoring it and stand for no bones against it especially for lousy conversational arguments.

A WORD OF A MOUTH could really mean a lot.  It could boost one’s ego or destroy the whole day but if you will just act indifferently in one way or another just to show me how pissed you are well then I better leave earlier than I should and just wait for hours outside rather than going with my usually routine time of leaving and observe your immature behavior.

EVERYBODY MAKES mistakes.  Everybody gets those days but as I have checked the last time, it should always be on how words were delivered yet lately, I just realized that it never go off that way for a lot of circumstances had proven me that there’s never a constructive criticism at all.  It’s always on how the person concerned takes it.  Either badly or for the better good, well it’s up to the person.  The words were carefully spoken yet the gravity is always on the recipient.

IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT for observations and advice never impress you instead you treat them as criticisms and they insult you, well then it’s up to you.  It’s not my problem anymore and I’m not gonna add this lump to mine.  I’m just trying to be real here but it’s still on how you take it.  If you don’t wanna be told of an idea for it hurts your ego instead no matter how it’s carefully delivered then fine!  You’re not gonna here anything from me from now on.  It’s better not to say things when asked and needed rather than being misinterpreted and be used against with.  I never wished to be the reason of having your day marred but after a sincere talk and after pretending that things are so alright on your end but in reality they’re not for deep inside you you’re still not okay, then you should have thrown it straight right onto my face so I would understand rather than acting up this way.  We have already discussed it yet you’re still not letting go.

TOUGH, MAN!  I’m not here to understand and please you right at all times.  I have issues within me, too and I’m not gonna watch you showing me how you circle the drain making me feel sorry for things we actually just patched up.  It’s never gonna work on me, I’m telling you.  Actually, I’m not even sure if I mistakenly dealt with an arrogant immature child or a very difficult infantile person.

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2013 in The Avenue

 

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