THE TRAIL ONCE AGAIN leads me back to this same avenue where there’s just so much to feel which I wish I understand so I can make them go away. They all just come through surfacing from within making it all unbearable tearing me down hard right in front of my very eye. I’m seeing myself breaking down into million pieces. The more I keep picking the pieces of me up, the wider I realize my scatter area is. They’re making it complicated when they’re supposed to be simple. They’re making me once again shut everything out keeping my distance yet, the crowd still seems so just right behind me. And all these racing thoughts and grandiose feelings are just there. They’re all just right there yet, and the fear and all these unbearable emotions push me even off my ground. The more I could feel them, the more I draw myself far far away. The more I withdraw myself from them, the narrower this trail gets. The further I runaway, the closer I get to them until they finally invade me engraving all these familiar pain right onto the high walls of my heart tearing the old scars making up another one. These are all old undying emotions that’s been surfacing from within over and over and over again yet, everytime they come through, they always seem so new like I slowly die everytime I handle them no matter how I’m used with. I need them disappear not me disappearing as they keep on surfacing. I wish I understand. I just wish I understand so I could make the disappear. Forever.
The Walled Garden