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The Swing!

12 Jan

porch-swingTHAT TIME WHEN all is placid and a soft friendly atmosphere is all over the place. There’s no one there but you, the coffee table and your cup of coffee and no one’s bugging you yet for no reason, you’re just not enjoying it; instead, you can hardly stay calm and enjoy the placidity as you sip your coffee.  You can even hardly flatten your feet on the tiles as you sit on the chair because you keep standing, thinking, anticipating what to do next.  You seem so scared to relax for you may miss something important.  You’re just so bothered of everything and getting so irritated yet you’re not even aware where your irritation is coming from.

THAT FEELING WHEN your heart seems heavy for no reason, no driver, nor anything that may knock on your motor.  That feeling when your mind is loaded with plans and ideas where racing thoughts are now starting to drive your ego and thinking about it agitates you and you start getting irritated of your current situation.  That feeling when time turns too slow that you just wanna make time run faster.  That feeling when you keep breathing heavily like you just ran a mile yet all you did was to keep thinking of plans and what to do next.

I HATE IT WHEN I feel so up and at the same time down.  It gets into my nerve making me feel always irritated and can’t stay in one place for more than a minute.  It makes me feel like I wanna run yet I got nowhere to go.  My mind keeps on turning formulating ideas over and over again and I just can’t help but think.  It’s getting so manic and I’m really so irritated.  The more I keep thinking, the more I realize that I’m too far from the idea and now I’m getting so pissed of myself as all forms of emotions are now coming through, surfacing from within, getting a hold of me rapidly swinging all in 9 seconds.  I can now hardly breath.  I’m now drowning in my own thoughts.  They just keep on twirling and twirling and I just can’t stop them.

I’M JUST THINKING if I’m the only person in this world experiencing this.  I’m just thinking that if this happens to another person, can that person keep up?  I hardly can but I guess I’m just already used to it.

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Posted by on January 12, 2013 in The Episodes

 

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